Come Undone
by fiandkatie
Summary: Suddenly the strain of losing her world becomes too much for Padmé, the death of her handmaiden spirals her into a path of destructiveness. Her Jedi protectors must help her while saving their own relationship in the process. Features Curt Wild from Velv
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: George Lucas owns all (not that he'd recognize much of it in this story) Oh except for Curt, he belongs to Todd Haynes  
  
Spoilers: Episode II  
  
Summary: Suddenly the strain of losing her world becomes too much for Padmé, the death of her handmaiden spirals her into a path of destructiveness. Her Jedi protectors must help her while saving their own relationship in the process. Can the broken bonds once forged from innocent love overcome a world destined for darkness?  
  
Chapter I  
  
Padme wrapped the silvery lace shawl more tightly around herself, though it provided her with little protection against the biting cold as late evening turned slowly to night. Coruscant was beautiful in the dark, when the sunlight was no longer reflected by the cold metallic walls of towering skyscrapers, but instead the buildings emanated their own electric light, and the headlights of speeders filled the night sky like stars. No, she did not wish for protection from the elements, but from the crowds of people all around her, pushing and shoving at each other on the sidewalks, all too wrapped up in their own busy lives to put up with loiterers. Or people who just didn't know where they were going.  
  
"Hey, excuse me!"  
  
"Outta the way!"  
  
Padme looked about quickly, wearing on her face an unusually uncomfortable expression, nervous even. This was not Senator Amidala, though perhaps it was the stubbornness of the representative of Naboo that had gotten her into this situation in the first place.  
  
"Move it!"  
  
Someone pushed her a bit too roughly from the side, and she half stepped, half fell into a doorway. She quickly got her footing and turned to shoot an angry glare at the person, but they had already been swept along by the crowd. She raised her chin defiantly, sweeping away all the traces of nervousness from her amber eyes as she remembered who she was. Padme may have turned back, but Senator Amidala would most certainly not. This was what she had wanted, after all - a few hours of freedom from the constant suffocating presence of Captain Typho, her many guards, and now two jedis too. Although, if she was being completely honest with herself, Master Obi Wan's presence was anything not unwelcome. His face was as warm and comforting as it ever had been, perhaps even more so than she remembered. His eyes brought back memories to her of warm summer evenings in the meadows of newly liberated Naboo, all of ten years ago. It was only his padawan learner that made her uncomfortable. Anakin, once a little boy whom she had been fond of, now a handsome young man, but his eyes ever suggestive, piercing the senator's façade like few could and getting right under her skin. She wished only for the friendship they had once shared, but she could see already that he would not settle for that.  
  
So was that why she was here? Had a single young padawan driven her out into the dirty streets of one of the worst parts of Coruscant? Well, it was true, in part, but that was not the only reason. The current situation in the senate, Corde's death, the fact she hadn't seen her parents in months - finally it was all starting to get to her. It had only ever been a matter of time.  
  
Slowly she became aware of voices within the building that she was stood outside. The excited murmurs drew her out of the cold and into a crowded room. Great, more people she thought, again subconsciously pulling at her shawl. But not one of them paid Padme any notice as she took a seat at one of the few small grubby tables, despite how very out of place she looked in her beautiful lilac dress, and with her hair twisted in an intricate pattern down her back and threaded with many tiny pearls. In her escape, there had been no time for the lengthy process of getting changed. Infact, as she took in her surroundings, she realised that many of the people here were dressed up in such unsuitably fabulous clothing, some to such a degree that it almost served as competition for Padme. Almost. A small smile played on her small pink lips. Though this world was completely foreign to her, it seemed she had already been accepted into it.  
  
Then, a hoarse shout filled the air, so sudden as though something had not wished Padme to become too comfortable. She jumped in her seat, and spun around to see where the sound had come from, fearing what she would find, questioning again what she had gotten herself into. But even as she turned, the yell was joined by what she recognised by music, and yet the sound was, like everything else, completely new to her. It was raw, violent, yet strangely compelling, even beautiful. She found herself staring at a small stage, at the curvaceous metallic instrument which she could only presume had produced the sound. It screamed out a tune, joined now by another instrument that she was more familiar with, though never before had she heard drums played in such a way, like they were created with the sole purpose of accompanying this strange new sound. Padme's eyes widened in fascination, yet she did not see the players, only their instruments, until the voice came in once more, harnessed now, brought down into actual words that in their unusualness only complimented the music.  
  
"well see that cat  
  
yeah, I do mean you  
  
well see that cat  
  
yeah, I do mean you"  
  
Her eyes travelled slowly up the singer's body, up the tight black leather pants to his naked upper body as he drizzled oil down it. Her lips parted slightly in surprise. pleasant surprise as he massaged the oil into his skin, moving his hand in slow, erotic circles. Padme finally managed to raise her stare up to eyes that were ringed with eyeliner, to a face that emanated unusual familiarity, and at the same time was like nothing she'd seen before. He licked his lips like a hungry wolf, prowling across the stage, his voice husky as he sang on.  
  
"shoot your T.V. Eye on me  
  
shoot your T.V. Eye  
  
shoot your T.V. Eye on me, oh"  
  
He picked up a contained of gold glitter and sprinkled it over himself, pieces of it catching the light as it fell, sparkling and twinkling like stars, some settling on him, some falling to the floor. And then, all of a sudden, he looked straight at Padme. She found herself holding her breath, fixed to the spot, and her heart gave a slight flutter of desire. The song seemed to fade away into stillness as their eyes met, and his gaze spoke of forbidden pleasures, an untamed world that he was calling her into. She knew in her heart how completely wrong it was, but that only made it all the more enticing. Still a few flakes of the gold glitter were falling about him, like the eyeliner contrasting and complimenting his appearance at the same time. The attraction was primal yet complex, and try as she may she couldn't explain it. She found herself helplessly caught in his gaze, unable to look away until finally he did. All around her she felt movement returning. Suddenly feeling disorientated, she stood up, having to press her hand against the wall for support for a moment before the wave of dizziness passed, but leaving her still lost and confused. She needed fresh air to clear her mind. As she stepped out into cool night once more, she could hear the song coming to an end behind her.  
  
  
  
She should have started heading back by now. The sky had turned from deep blue to inky black, and doubts were starting to kick in. They would no doubt have discovered she was not in her room hours ago, and would probably all be running round like headless chickens by now. She almost felt sorry for them. Yet here Padme was, not only still out, but still stood outside the same bizarre club. Why was she still here?  
  
"You're new here." The voice came from behind her, low and husky, making her jump as it tore her out of her trail of thought. She spun around, about to give this creep a piece a little advice on not sneaking up on people in dark alleyways, but the words caught in her throat. It was him - the singer from the club - the reason she had been stood out here for the last 20 minutes, although she wouldn't admit it to herself. A slight smile crept over his lips as he came towards her, his movements again reminding her of a wolf stalking its prey, slow and cautious yet certain, his eyeliner ringed eyes never moving from her face.  
  
"You got a name?" This time she had overcome her initial shock enough to recognise his accent, belonging to this area, or perhaps just a little to the north. When had she ever allowed herself to become dumbfounded by anyone? She cleared her throat and gave him a small, seductive smile, playing him at his own game.  
  
"Padme," she said, taking just a couple of steps towards him, if only to show she wasn't intimidated by him, that she wasn't helpless in this situation. Partially she was just reassuring herself of those things. It didn't even occur to her just how easily she had dropped her title of senator. Right now, outside this club at this time of night with him at her like that, she was Padme. She looped a lock of her silky brown hair loosely around her finger, winding it slowly, idly, keeping eye contact with him. She knew perfectly well how to get a man where she wanted him, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she knew him from somewhere. "And yourself?" All the while, he had continued to move towards her, but only now did she realise that he was just inches away from her, his eyes bearing down into hers, flashing mischievously for just a moment as they caught the silvery light of the moon. She held her breath, and once more her heart pounded in her chest, sending emotions surging through her veins. Somehow he had caught her off guard again!  
  
"Curt," he replied after what seemed like an age, and she could feel his breath on her neck, sending a tingling sensation across her skin. She shivered slightly, pleasantly, closing her eyes for a moment as tingle ran through her whole body. She wanted to respond, but she was sinking too deep in her own desire, hoping only that he would read the signals as with much effort her eyes slowly opened again and gazed into his.  
  
She felt a cool hand against her soft ivory skin, intensifying that shiver, leaving her breathless. He was teasing her now, she was sure of it, but she was completely powerless like she had never been before. Her passion surged with each touch - she was falling too fast, hurtling out of control, needing this man who was almost a complete stranger to her.  
  
His lips brushed over hers and again her eyes fluttered close, but already the contact was gone. Desperately she craned her neck, searching blindly for the taste again, then sinking in as she found his soft lips. Her hand went up to his face, and she ran her fingers through his hair and slowly down the back his neck. There she let her hand rest, applying just a little pressure to deepen the kiss, feeling her heart race within her chest. It was he who let out a small moan of pleasure, repaying the favour by snaking his tongue into her mouth, then massaging her tongue slowly. Both her hands found their way down his naked back, rubbing his skin in slow, deep circles as he ran his hands up and down her naked arms. Everything was happening so quickly, and already in her mind she knew where it would end, but she couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. And it didn't seem like this familiar stranger was going to either. 


	2. Chapter II

Chapter II  
  
"She's still not back."  
  
Obi Wan let out a slightly exasperated sigh as he turned round to face his young Padawan. He was trying to remain calm about this situation, but the senator had been missing all night - they had guards out searching high and low for her, but without any luck as yet - and Anakin wasn't helping much. While Obi Wan tried to reach out with the force to search for her presence, his apprentice had less control over his emotions, and spent much of his time simply annoying the jedi. He had suggested Anakin go keep a look out in case Senator Amidala returned, but he seemed to find it necessary to report back every 5 minutes. Obi Wan was about to get angry with him when he saw the genuinely worried look on Anakin's face.  
  
"She can fend for herself," he offered, but wasn't even convinced by it himself. The senator was under a constant and serious threat right now, that was the precise reason he and his apprentice were here. Sure enough Anakin gave him a very dissatisfied look, his icy blue eyes only becoming more worried. Then he was shifting about on his feet uncomfortably, turning to stare out at the steadily rising morning sun, unable to stay still for a single moment. Obi Wan had always been able to read his padawan like a book, though it wasn't hard as the boy wore his heart on his sleeve, but right now he could sense frustration - Anakin wanted to do something and was finding it difficult to accept that there was actually very little he could do.  
  
"I don't like waiting around like this," he admitted, confirming Obi Wan's suspicions. "We should be out there looking for her!"  
  
"Looking for who?" a soft, female voice cut in that made both men spin around, surprised expressions on their faces. The older of the two seemed a little curious, but the blue eyes of the younger one were simply filled with relief as he quickly headed towards her.  
  
"Padme!" Anakin said, and from the jedi behind him there came a rather angry cough. The tall Padawan quickly slowed, taking a moment to get his emotions in check as his master crossed the room.  
  
"M'lady, you have been put under our protection, should you wish to go somewhere I ask only that you let us know in advance," he pleaded with her. Poor Obi Wan, so bound by the rules of his Order. And though she followed no such code, Padme usually followed her own strict rules, but since breaking so many last night she was wondering if they were really that necessary. She had to fight off the grin that tugged at her lips, instead giving Obi Wan a confused, even slightly insulted expression.  
  
"Master Kenobi, I know I am in danger, but surely I am permitted to take a walk around the building alone? The upcoming vote is extremely serious, you must understand the pressure I am under. You are here to protect me but I still require some time alone." Her words had the desired affect - temporarily silencing both men in their confusion, giving her long enough to add, "Now, I have a very busy day ahead of me, if you don't mind." She crossed the room, walking calmly past the two of them. Most likely they would recognise her complete lie, but what could they do about it? They knew she was unhappy with them being sent to protect her, so pushing this issue would be very dangerous, and besides, she had returned perfectly safe so what did it matter? Without looking back, she went through to her bedroom, closing the door behind her.  
  
Anakin was the first to speak. "What do we do now master?" What indeed. Obi Wan still stared at the door that Padme had left through, still trying to make sense of it all in her mind. Obviously she had been lying, but it was more than that - he sensed a change in the young senator, though what it was he couldn't place his finger on. It troubled him not only that she could take such a big risk, but that she was now being so flippant about it. She had been lucky this time, but would that only lead her to do it again? Suddenly he became aware of Anakin's eyes on him, still waiting for instructions, though impatiently so. He did not attempt to hide his particular concern where the senator was involved, and his eyes burned into his master's back, demanding his full attention. Obi Wan took a deep breath and turned slowly, giving his mind a few more precious moments to decide the best course of action. "Alert the council and Captain Typho of the senator's return."  
  
"But Padme." Obi Wan gave his apprentice a stern look.  
  
"I will speak with Senator Amidala," he said, speaking with a tone of finality that he hoped Anakin would follow. But he saw his Padawan shake his head, clearly dissatisfied with the answer he had been given, trying desperately to find a way around it.  
  
"Master, I think she may speak more openly with."  
  
"With you? Obi Wan finished off his sentence, raising his eyebrow inquisitively. Anakin gave a confident nod but Obi Wan gave him another stern look. "Anakin, do not allow your emotions to cloud your judgement. Our purpose here is to protect the senator, something she knows as well as you should do, and your feelings for her are inappropriate." He saw Anakin take in these words like a lesson he had heard too many times. 'But he never learns!' Obi Wan thought to himself, exasperated. All too often he felt like he was talking to a brick wall. "Besides, I have observed that your manner towards her makes her uncomfortable." Those last words hit the mark, and Obi Wan was almost sorry for targeting what he knew was a weak spot. Anakin searched desperately for some kind of response, then stood up straight, taking in a deep breath to calm himself. Perhaps it was only his stature, but even in defeat, even despite his status in comparison to the jedi, he seemed to tower over Obi Wan.  
  
"Yes master," he said coolly, seeming in that moment very distant, but before Obi Wan could even attempt to resolve the problem, Anakin turned and left, his dark jedi robes sweeping across the powder blue carpeted floor as he walked away. Obi Wan sighed and looked back at the door through which he knew he would find Senator Amidala. He almost wished he'd let Anakin talk to her.  
  
Padme stood at a small circular mirror on the wall, running a brush through her soft rich brown hair, or more precisely the same few curls again and again mindlessly as she stared at her reflection. The woman staring back at her didn't seem any different to the same one she saw there every day, but she knew different.  
  
Now that she was alone, she couldn't escape it any longer. Her first time. Though at 24 years old she could not be accused of being too young, but her work had always taken priority over her personal life. And now it had happened. She stared into the amber eyes of her reflection, trying to read her expression, unsure of her own emotions at this point in time. She had always imagined it would be so romantic, but also based on a firm, long- term relationship. She knew very little Curt beyond his first name! Her own recklessness both confused and appalled her.  
  
But still looking into the mirror, going back over the events of the night before in her head, she realised that she didn't regret it. It was reckless, unplanned, completely out of control, and. liberating. Padme had a fun side, but she had always been the responsible one, the reliable one. Last night she had taken a risk, letting herself go in the moment, and for the first time she had felt truly free. Curt's face shimmered before her in her mind's eye, making her realise that if she could go back and do it all again, she wouldn't change a thing. Those murmured words and whispered, almost feverent cries echoed in her mind, almost bringing her back to those moments. She remembered his cool gentle touch on her soft skin, his fingers through her hair like the comb in her hand, and just the thought of it made her shiver with delight. Those eyes full of fiery passion as he brought her to heights no one had before, she let lose a small sigh. Her brush fell away from her hair as she relived it for a moment, eyes dilating as if he stood before her, his hot breath on her neck. Her fingers drifted to her neck, remembering those kisses.  
  
Obi Wan stood before the door, trying to raise up the courage to knock. He didn't know what Padme was hiding, and he wasn't sure he wanted to do. Besides, even if her mood seemed to have improved since yesterday, he was reluctant to push this issue so soon after their arrival which she had been so very against. All of a sudden, he heard a soft sigh coming from beyond the door, making the blood rush to his face just a little as he realised he was listening in on her. Not allowing his mind to contemplate the sound for even a moment, he reached out and knocked on the door quickly, just to make her aware of his presence on the other side of the door.  
  
"M'lady?" he said, his voice faltering just a little. He cleared his throat and continued, "May I come in?"  
  
Padmé was ripped from her little daydream at the sound Obi Wan's voice and she blushed slightly at her thoughts. She may have been a grown woman but it was still all new to her. She cleared her throat and dressed quickly, not bothering to fix her curly hair that tumbled down her back in a mass of wavy brown curls. "Come in," she finally managed.  
  
Obi Wan gingerly pressed the button on the data pad, stepping back again as the door slid open to reveal the senator. Again he was instantly struck by the feeling that something had changed about her - though she was still the same undeniably beautiful young woman, everything about her emanated this change, staring him in the face if he could only bring himself to look.  
  
"I want to talk to you about last night," he said bluntly, feeling that he should at least be straight with her. He could think of few worse ways to start this conversation off than by insulting her intelligence. Even if she had insulted his just minutes ago when she fed him the lie of her whereabouts last night. He took a risk, giving her the same kind of stern look he so often gave his padawan. "You put yourself in a great amount of danger by going off alone like that."  
  
Padmé sighed irritably, she was quite tired from her outing last night and Obi Wan had no right to go prying in her private affairs. Padmé gave a slight, dismissive gesture with the tilt of her head and then turned her back on him. It was obvious she cared very little to hear his little rant, which was all it was. She wasn't some *child* she was a grown woman with a very high position that she had worked hard for. Yet then again Kenobi was her friend and once a confidant, it wasn't right to treat him like this. Then again he had no right to treat her like a child. Perhaps what she had done had been reckless but she needed it, wanted a release from everything that had been going on. From Cordé's death to the assassination attempted the night before she was beginning to get a bad case of cabin fever. It had been so exhilarating to be out on her own, taste the air and its offerings. "What about it," she asked her voice deepening in its pitch as an air of coldness laced her words. She wasn't Padmé any longer but seemed to transform into that regal and imposing Senator whose name sent many trembling. "I am here safely, nothing is to be gained to speaking of it now." Reaching over Padmé nimbly picked up her hairbrush.  
  
Obi Wan swallowed, doing his best to take the words in his stride, even if it cut him deep to hear them spoken by the woman whom he had once been quite close too. He had hoped she still was, but right now she seemed more distant than ever. 'First Anakin, now Padme, this just isn't my day.' He didn't let the pain show, recovering and coming back as quickly as he could manage.  
  
"Unless you decide to try it again," he responded, only now stepping into the room as his confidence grew with his argument. "I know our presence here is against your wishes m'lady, but you must meet us halfway. We cannot protect you if we do not know where you are. Corde died to protect you, do not let her efforts be in vain." It was a terrible thing to say, and he hated being forced into saying it, but that was just it, he needed to say it. How else was he going to make her realise the severity of her actions? As he spoke he reluctantly attempted to probe her mind, hating himself even more for this. To read the mind of a stranger for some crucial information, but to intrude on the thoughts of an old friend? Yet as he tried, he found her mind to be almost as closed off as a jedi's - covered with all kinds of barriers that he had to tiptoe around. Even then, he found himself only able to pick off thoughts at the very surface, the fury she felt towards him right now. He looked at her, having to rely completely on words and body language to get any information from her.  
  
Padmé slammed the glass brush down on the wooden mantle with such force that it shatter. Pieces of the brush splintered in every direction as her hands trembled with anger or frustration, perhaps both. All around the senator lay the brilliant pieces of glass illuminated by the dawning sun. She whirred to face, her beautiful face contorted in pain and anger. Beneath that soft femininity and caring eyes lay something dangerously deep. "Don't," she spat out suddenly, her tone rising in the small room. "Don't you dare talk about things you know nothing about. You forget I am not someone you can push around and use your Jedi influence over." Pausing for a moment she smiled eerily. "I can feel you," she began taping her forehead with her index finger. "Feel you tip toeing around.what are you looking for?" She suddenly leapt closer to him, something wild in her eyes. The glass crunched below her bare feet, tiny pieces of glass biting into her delicate ivory skin. She didn't seem to notice, too intently focused on him. "You may have grown older but you've grown more conceded and arrogant as well Kenobi. " She tilted her face, nose upturned towards him. For all the world she looked like a spoiled child. Then she stepped away, bloody marks on the carpet from her feet. "For someone whose apprentice is the chosen one you did very poorly.. so talented are two, then perhaps you should have known where I was." She smiled with satisfaction, her hurtful words felt good, took the sting away from his mention of Cordé. "But you didn't did you.I think I rather like it that way."  
  
Obi Wan was truly and deeply frightened. The maniacal expression on her face was so utterly unlike her, yet deep within her eyes Padme still stared at him. This was Padme's face, Padme's mouth uttering these spine-chilling words, Padme's feet walking across the broken glass as though it were cotton. Or perhaps she did feel the pain, revelled in it. no this couldn't be her. Despite himself he took a step back away from her, revealing his fear more clearly than if he'd just come out and said it. But she needed him to be strong now, Obi Wan told himself, she needed someone to calm her down, and he was the one who had gotten her in this state. no, this was no time to be focusing on the negative! He forced himself to look into her eyes, repressing a shudder at the utter emptiness there - darkness creeping into the beautiful brown circles. Yes, darkness. He reached out to her quickly, taking her hand in his own and forcing her to keep eye contact. He tried to keep his own expression one of deep concern.  
  
"Padme," he said, only partially aware that he had stopped using her formal name, "I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," he said, trying to force his way back into her life, into that position he had held briefly as a good friend. Her behaviour had clearly shaken him, he could only hope she would not realise how deeply.  
  
She was beside herself, she couldn't help her next action. She heard the slap before the stinging sensation in her hand alerted her to what she had done. She slapped him hard from the sound of it. Her palm stung and she looked in his eyes and panicked. She reeled back and almost fell onto the glass. Her hand flew to her mouth and she ran passed him out the open door and to the elevator, leaving bloody footprints in her wake. Her heart beat widely and she took off into the crowd, to upset to notice her lack of proper clothing or footwear. Her mind was numb and she was shaking all over. What had just happened? What had she done? 


	3. Chapter III

Come on peeps, I need feedback!! Love it, hate it, just review it please!  
  
Chapter III  
  
They all watched him, some with knowing eyes and others just observing the spectacle before them. The council had been summoned in the early morning at the request of the Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The sun was peeking over the horizon but the blinds of the chamber had not yet been lifted so the inhabitance remained in the shadows. Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably before them as the last of the council members settled themselves into their seat. Now all the attention was on him and Master Yoda's eyes prodded him to begin. He didn't want to utter the words lying on his tongue; their very essence made him ill and the council chamber seemed to sway before his dark eyes.  
  
"I've summoned you for a grave importance, something has come up that I cannot handle alone and believe," he faltered for a moment as an image of Padmé flashed though his mind. "I am sure you are all aware of the frantic night my Padawan and I had with her disappearance.today when I confronted her on the matter she-" Obi-Wan paused as Yoda held up his hand, dark eyes hidden below his green eyelids. His brow furrowed and he let lose a deep sigh. When he reopened them again his eyes held a deep sadness that Obi-Wan had not seen since Qui-Gon's death. The rest of the council suddenly seemed to move at once, shifting in their chairs. All eyes were upon him now, he had their attention and at that moment he didn't want it.  
  
"See your trouble the council does Master Kenobi." Suddenly Obi-Wan understood, the council had read the thoughts he had projected unknowingly. Obi-Wan was slightly relived they knew and he wouldn't have to covey that horrible ordeal with words yet he also knew something bad was coming. Yoda and Mace Windu exchanged a look, dark eyes unreadable except by the pair. Silent words were exchanged and they seemed to settle the question that lay in the stillness of the chambers. Yoda still appeared disturbed, "Safe the young Senator is for now, return to you she will."  
  
Mace Windu spoke next, "What is your opinion on this matter Obi-Wan?"  
  
The Jedi drew his robes around him, "She is mentally unstable right now Master," he admitted. The council was deathly quiet and Obi-Wan was dying for some sound, a noise or movement. Yet he received no answer to his silent plea and he continued, "She exhibits symptoms of great stress and her reaction to the death of her handmaiden followed so closely by these attacks has left her.disturbed. She is deferring from her normal behavior patterns and her violent reaction to my claim only serves to prove she is ill equipped to deal with the Senate vote and her duties." There he had said it, spoken those words he didn't want to but knew he must. She needed help, help he and his Padawan could not give.  
  
Yoda spoke again, his voice low and soft, "When the Senator returns you will escort her back to Naboo..your perception is correct Master Obi-Wan." Yoda appeared as if he wished to say more but silenced himself quickly. He seemed tired, overtaxed and a weariness hung around him that Obi-Wan had never seen.  
  
"Use force if you deem necessary," Mace spoke quietly and the impact of his words was all the more powerful. The heavy silence that hung in the chamber was one again unbearable. "Once on Naboo you and your Padawan must try and help her recovery, no doubt you realize her importance to the Republic. We shall use Dormé as her decoy and send two other Jedi to protect her. Hopefully you can heal Senator Amidala.she has a connection with you and Anakin and perhaps this will help you in your mission. If you run into further problems do not hesitate to contact us Obi-Wan."  
  
Obi-Wan wanted desperately to say more but it was clear he would get no further audience with the Jedi Council. He departed quickly, deep in thought as he boarded the transport back to Senators Amidala's apartment. He had been gone nearly five hours and he was nowhere closer to the answers he sought. In fact, if anything he was farther away, more confused, and hell of a lot more behind then before. The day was beginning horrible and Obi-Wan had a feeling it would be ending even worse. 


	4. Chapter IV

Chapter IV  
  
He wore leather pants this morning, as he did most of the time, and a plain black t-shirt. A cigarette rested lazily between the middle and index finger of his right hand, and his eyes, no longer hidden under heavy eyeliner stared out blankly in his exhaustion. He took a drag of the cigarette, feeling the smoke snaking down into his lungs, holding it there for a few moments before finally tilting his head back and exhaling. A few people walked past, but none of them hassled him, infact most of them barely noticed him while the other few purposefully crossed over to the other side of the road when they did. It was almost enough to make him smile. To the few fans he had, he was a god, but to everyone else he was a lunatic, and these days it didn't even take the makeup to scare them off. It seemed he'd gotten himself a bit of a reputation around here.  
  
Perhaps he was crazy. Perhaps it was just that he was never off one drug or another long enough to actually experience real sanity, or perhaps he had thrown it all away at some point, escaping forever from the horrors this world had thrown at him. His throat was raw from all the shouting and yelling he'd done on stage last night, along with the excessive amounts of nicotine that he'd inhaled. His body felt like it was turning in on itself, aching for heroin, alcohol, anything to take away the pain. Right now it would just have to make do with the nicotine. Just until he could score himself something better. Finishing the cigarette, he immediately lit up another one and started to head down the road towards the town centre.  
  
Most of last night was a blur for him. From what he could remember, the gig hadn't gone down all that badly. Memories of it came to him in lurid flashing lights, and the savage screams of an electric guitar, as intoxicating as any drug. The sound filled his mind with flashbacks of unresolved childhood traumas, and it just made him lose control. In those moments, he knew he was insane.  
  
And then, just as he was trying to piece together the rest of the evening, it bumped straight into him. He gazed intently at the young woman, taking a moment for his eyes to focus on her features. Memories flooded back to him of the events of last night as he stepped back, taking another drag of the cigarette and managing to draw his mouth into a faint smile.  
  
She stumbled back when she ran into him, wiping furiously at the tears that were pouring down her ivory features. Her lower lip trembled and she knew she must have looked a fright, having just ran through half of the fourth district. Her legs ached with the exhaustion and after the first five minutes of running she knew the Jedi had not gone after her. Otherwise she wouldn't be here, again.  
  
Padmé reached up and brushed her hand through the tangles of her curly hair at his scrutiny. She seemed embarrassed to see him again, as if she half thought that last night had merely been a dream. She looked down at her bloodied feet and then to the passing crowds. He continued to smirk at her and she finally met his gaze. "Hello again," she said evenly, nothing in her tone giving away the turbulent feelings inside.  
  
Curt gave her a small nod of approval. She wasn't as dressed up as she had been last night, but that glamour look was drawn down into even her more casual clothes. He supposed she was just a fan, not one he'd seen around before, but there was something about her, the same thing that had made him notice her in the crowd last night.  
  
"Back already?" he said huskily, trying to clear his head a little but still only able to utter two word sentences. He took a step towards her, picking up smaller details as he allowed his eyes to trace up and down her figure. It took him a couple of moments, but as his mind slowly took it all in, he started to realise the state she was in. Her sweet, soft voice was calm, and her expression gave nothing away either, but her pale skin was strained with tears, her hair in a mess, and she was breathing just a little too heavily, as though she'd been running. As he finally looked back into her face, his eyes gleamed and he licked his lips, recognising her vulnerability. "What you running from?"  
  
"N-nothing," she stuttered for the first time in her life. She looked away from him now, unable to keep his gaze. Last night those eyes had held something in them that had drawn her to him. Yet that was gone now, something perilous lay in their murky depths. He flicked his cigarette away and cocked his head at her, something utterly voracious in his movements. She looked behind her, searching for the Jedi or something else, she didn't know. She let lose a small sigh, relief that had not been confirmed until she stopped running. Looking back up at his handsome face she felt that twinge of familiarity she couldn't place. He was stranger and that was all, last night had been a one-time deal, they both had made that clear. Yet looking at him now she wasn't sure he was clear on that matter, wasn't sure he was even really in there. She knew he had been high last night but he had still been a fantastic lover. It seemed that now she was seeing the real him, not the rock star on stage. "I'm running from," she stopped almost wanting to say the Jedi's name, tell him that he was Jedi but she stopped herself. "From someone whose been poking around lately. You know," she began trying to make it obvious she didn't want to discuss this. "I better be going."  
  
She was nervous. It didn't take a genius to see that, and as she made to leave he put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, what's the rush?" he said, the smile on his face widening just a little as he forced eye contact between them. He craved for the taste of her like another drug, but that deep, dangerous thirst was hidden under his wolfish grin. With each moment his mind cleared a little more, his perception sharpening, his eyes wandering across her body, over her frightened eyes. Wait, frightened? He gave her a small, playful frown, but perhaps he could fix that.  
  
His hand slid from her shoulder slowly down her arm, first having to make do with contact protected by the thin material of her sleeve, but then snaking under to stroke her skin gently, just as he had done before. He felt her body struggling under his touch, trying to get out of his reach, but he just smiled intently. Then all of a sudden his other arm was around her small waist, holding her there, the almost burnt out cigarette falling to the ground. He leant in just a little, bringing his lips close to her mouth. "Don't fight it," he whispered in that same gravelly voice.  
  
Padmé struggled in his arms, she didn't want this now, he was the beginning of all her troubles and indirectly the reason she had run away. Last night had been wild, fun and wonderful but it was a one-time deal. She couldn't afford to do this again; afraid it would jeopardize her political career and her life. The Jedi sent to protect her would eventual find out if she kept this up. She told herself whatever physical pleasures he could bring her was not worth all the hard work she put into this.  
  
Closing her eyes she turned away from his kiss, grimacing slightly. Yet he didn't seem to notice, his hands and kisses drifted lower. She shivered and knew immediately that anyone could see them. "No," she said firmly, mustering up enough strength to push him away. She overbalanced the push and in his state it caused him to trip over a bottle and he landed with a thud on the floor. The Senator bent down, worry etched on her features. "I'm sorry.are you alright?"  
  
One moment he felt she was giving way, silently consenting as his hands and lips wandered slowly down, exploring the curves of her body. Then the next he felt a hard shove at his side, and his still unbalanced body stumbled over a bottle, hands reaching out blindly for support as he fell to the floor. His eyes rolled back into his head as it connected hard with the stone pavement, and through dulled senses he felt a crack of pain that vibrated through his whole body. He blinked slowly, trying to focus, trying to understand what had just happened, and then heard her voice above him, saw her standing over him. The initially glazed expression in his eyes melted under seething rage, his face contorting like it did on the stage, when his anger could be channeled through his music. Pressing the palm of his hand against the cool stone of a wall, he pulled himself up, his anger focusing him as he quickly turned back to her, and without a moments thought he punched her, aiming for the nose but getting her hard in the chin.  
  
"What the fuck do you think, you stupid bitch?" These words came so much easier to him than idle chitchat - so often had he used them in some form or another. He brought his hand to the back of his head and felt that it was wet, sure enough as he brought the fingers back before his face they were dripping with crimson red liquid. Red like his anger, bubbling up inside of him as he went at her again, grabbing both her shoulders in his hands and throwing her hard at the wall.  
  
The scream that wretched its way from her throat was cut short by her back slamming into the wall. Tears of pain fell freely from her eyes as her back began to throb, the sharp edges of the wall dug into her back. Her hands fluttered to her chin, the ache in her jaw was enough to tell her he hadn't shattered it. Every part of her body burned and confusion clouded her mind as she tried to speak. It had been an accident, an accident she wanted to cry but found his hand over her mouth to silence her shriek and all she could do was whimper. Her body shuddered and those dark eyes once again were focused on her with animalistic rage. His hands were rough on her, no longer gently and kind. She knew her arms and back would be covered with bruises, not to mention her jaw. She struggled under his grip, and managed to elbow him in the stomach and she could hear him gasping for air. She stumbled out of his grip and ran towards the crowded street. Her whole body ached and she stumbled, pitching forward onto the rough gravel dirt. Another cry found its way to her lips and she struggled to get up.  
  
Curt felt something dig sharply into his stomach and he let out an furious snarl, being knocked to his knees as he saw the little bitch getting away. Blind with rage, he scrambled to his feet and chased after her, literally pouncing on her as he found her on the ground. She wasn't getting off, he would hear her scream under his hands whether it was from ecstasy or agony. His eyes were utterly vacant, more animal than man as he scrambled to get off her and yanked hard at her hair to pull her up onto her knees. "Scream," he demanded, his lips close to her ear, his voice little more than a growl.  
  
And she did, painful cries mixed in with desperation as she struggled under his hands. Yet it only seemed to excite him and push him on further, eyes wide with pleasure at her pain. What had happened? How quickly things had turned in a few short moments was inexplicable to the young Senator. His breath was heavy in her ear as his hands traced down the wounds on her back. He seemed to take a sick gratification in the small gasp of pain he elicited at the touch of those injuries. He laced his fingers though her hair and reaching under her arms pulled her up, eyes surveying the woman before him.  
  
He grinned as she trembled and he leaned forward, soft lips on hers. "Don't worry baby, this wont hurt," he paused, a sadistic grin on his face, "Much." Padmé couldn't struggle any longer and was limp in his arms. She closed her eyes and waited till she felt him lean in and then she kicked him right between the legs. He slid off her and onto the floor in pain. His face contorted in anguish and Padmé wasted no time in slamming her foot down on his exposed hand. He howled in pain and Padmé took off into the crowded street. Bloody and battered she had no place to go but back home, home to the Jedi and back to the embarrassment of her actions.  
  
A/N: Yes this is the darkest chapter yet, hope it wasn't too disturbing! The next chapter will be very long, so it'll be a bit longer before I post it up, but that gives you more time to review! * cough cough, nudge nudge * come on, plleeaaasssee! 


	5. Chapter V

A/N: Ok, so that was a bit longer than I intended! Sorry for the huge delay, but life stuff has to come first! Well, to say sorry, this chapter is extra long - plleeaasee review!  
  
Chapter V  
  
She couldn't stop the tears, not even if she wanted to. They seemed to offer a strange, welcomed comfort, a way to pour out her frustrations. Padmé gripped the edges of the sink, avoiding looking at her battered face in the mirror, it only made her sick. She was lucky to have slipped past the guards unnoticed and then back into her room. The glass from her brush had been cleaned mercifully, saving the Senator a few more precious tears. Watching the crimson tinted water swirl down the drain Padmé wondered how things could have changed so quickly. Her body was sore, it ached and every move reminded her how she had gotten herself in this position. The one time the ex Queen had cut lose and lived for a moment was the instant in which the worst possible scenario happened. The washrag dropped from her shaking hands and the Senator curled up on the floor, her body shuddering as she remembered his face and hands and those eyes.. those terrible eyes. A pitiful whimper slipped from her lips as she curled into the fetal position on the floor. Oh god it hurt, hurt more then she could bear. Cordé's face flashed before her eyes, eliciting a tremor from the raven-haired beauty.  
  
"Go away, go away," she begged to some unseen antagonist.  
  
These last couple of hours had dragged on mercilessly. Anakin hadn't heard a word from Obi Wan since he had gone to speak with Padme, in fact he hadn't heard anything from anyone save Dorme, coming from the senator's room with shards of glass she had just swept up. That alone had set him on edge. He had paced up and down, practising his telekinetic abilities on a decorative orb, and when his thoughts drifted to Padme and he almost dropped the orb, he tried meditating instead. At first his thoughts fell deep within himself, focusing his mind on his own centre and clearing his mind of all else. Then he let his mind reach out, feeling the force flow through everything about him so he could see the room as clearly as if his eyes were open, more clearly even. Every tiny movement filled his awareness, and for a few precious moments he felt calm, settled. But then all of a sudden he felt suffering, so clear that it tugged at his awareness, demanding him to turn his attention towards it. The peaceful expression on his face melted away into a frown and he furrowed his brow, feeling the pain as clearly as if it was happening to him, as deep as the suffering he saw in his sleep when he dreamed of his mother. But this much closer, close enough for him to reach out with his mind to it with great ease, close enough to set his heart pounding and make his blood run cold. Suddenly a face flashed in his mind, causing his eyes to snap open.  
  
"Padme," he uttered breathlessly, and this figure which just moments ago had been perfectly still now set off tearing down the corridors of the building towards the room from which he had felt her presence within. As he reached the last door, he heard her voice within, so filled with despair that it broke his heart. Not having the patience to wait for it to do it on its own, he reached out and slid the door open with his mind, then went to race into the room. But as he took the first step, his eyes found the figure of the senator, curled up on the floor like a frightened animal. A fallen angel, her clothes torn and stained with blood, her beautiful ivory skin covered with hideous purple bruises that grew with every moment, her soft brown eyes filled with tears. It was just wrong. Part of him wanted desperately to look away, so painful was it for him to look upon this sight, but he would never leave her like this. And then of course there was rage, creeping up from deep in his heart and then pumping through his veins. He fought to stop his hands from shaking as he knelt down beside her.  
  
"Padme," he uttered hoarsely, wanting to put his hand on the pale skin of her shoulder to comfort her, but every particle of her being cried out in defence, so fragile that he feared she would crumble under even the gentlest touch. He would have to do with the words that were coming with great difficulty to him. "Who did this to you?" His voice grew stronger, an unspoken promise of revenge resonating within it.  
  
His voice broke through her panicked thoughts, causing her eyes to flutter open and focus on him. At first it seemed as though she didn't recognise him and she panicked, a wail filled the tiny room and she shrunk away from him. Her heart thudded in her chest and she struggled against his soft hands on her shoulder. "Padmé," he whispered to her, "Its me Anakin."She stilled in his arms, eyes focusing on him clearly this time and for a moment it seemed to stop her tears. His handsome and concerned face wavered slightly in Padmé vision before she grasped his shoulder and held on for dear life. She pressed herself against him, seeking the warmth and gentleness he radiated. He was safe, she was safe a soft voice whispered. She stilled against him, curled up in his lap. Her body ached and each moment in his arms caused her pain but she ignored it, in his arms for this split second she felt safe. Yesterday his gazes had worried her but now he was her only link, only hope of calming her raging fears and she held onto that hope with purpose. He still felt the deep pain that emanated from her, almost unbearable as it taunted at his rage, trying to coax him out of this place. But nothing on earth would make him move now as he felt her body relaxing in his arms, for once not thinking of his own selfish desire, only seeing how desperately she clung to him, utterly dependent on him for strength. He made soft reassuring noises, the kind his mother used to make whenever he had been frightened or upset, and put his other arm around her to let her know he wouldn't let go. For some reason it made him think of his first night in space, his first night away from his mother, on a Naboo spacecraft. Except then it had been Padme comforting him, wrapping her jacket around him and reassuring him everything would be alright. Finally he broke the silence.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" he said softly, no suggestion of pressure in his tone.  
  
She was quiet for a moment, wanting so desperately to tell him everything that had happened, to confess her fears and wants. Yet somehow she remained silent, allowing the deep-rooted feelings and pain to stay hidden for moments longer. She feared that if she told him what had happened she would destroy the image he seemed to have created for her and she couldn't do that. Padmé couldn't let him think less or herself because of one stupid mistake. No longer was his presence comforting for her, she realised how set apart from him she really was. It was a moment of clarity in which she could see her problems and their solutions. To him she was an angel, an idol that he'd dreamed about since forever. Yet she knew sadly she was a fallen angel, adrift in a sea of hopes without her wings. And so she fluttered around blindly and without direction, her mouth opening several times but nothing came out.  
  
"It was an accident, he fell and I went to help him up, but then he hit me." the sob tore from her throat, leaving it raw and aching like the rest of her body. "I told him to stop, but he wouldn't.he, he kept hitting and hitting." Her eyes were focused on something else and as she accounted the tale to him she shook her head in disbelief as if she herself didn't believe it. "He was so kind the other night, then animal, dark eyes like an animals, " she sobbed as his face floated before her mind's eyes. "Told him to stop," were her last words before she subsided into tears. There, she had done, told him all about Curt and what had happened between them. In her state of mind she knew enough to leave out his name, for surely Anakin would kill him.  
  
Anakin tensed slightly, having to stop himself from pulling away from her. He didn't know which was worse, this pure white rage burning just beneath his skin, surging through his veins and struggling more and more each moment to get out, or the feeling of utter disappointment as he slowly realised what had happened, the words which had remained unspoken. So many questions came to him as his own feeling submerged into conscious thought again, the first and foremost taunting him; why had she done it? What had made her go to him, not once but twice, this creature who was capable of doing this to her? He realised that she was tensed up too, uncomfortable with the bitterness he emanated now, but could he fight his own emotions to give her the support she so desperately needed now? He looked at her, still in his arms but not so willingly now, so he loosened his grip just a little. If she wanted to leave, so be it, he thought bitterly. But as he looked down at her he knew that he still felt the same way about her. Within his mind, beyond the turmoil of emotions, lay an untouched, tranquil centre, filled with such certainty that nothing could stir it, filled with love. The image he fixed her with, as a creature of complete perfection, was not false in that she was not perfect. That she could make mistakes brought her closer to him, and made her even more beautiful. Of course these thoughts came to him on little more than a subconscious level, for his feelings for her were tainted with other emotions. Yet somehow, in the smallest way, he connected with those feelings, giving him enough strength to keep his rage just beneath the surface. The man that had done this to her would pay, he vowed, but only him. There was no reason for Padme to be subject to that anger. Anakin held her close to him again, not quite managing to reach the levels of understanding he had held before, but trying his best as he bit his tongue still to fight his emotions. "It's alright, everything's going to be alright," he said, as close to sincerity as he could manage, his voice clearly weakened.  
  
But it wasn't going to be all right; Padmé could feel it in her gut that nothing was going to be right for a very, very long time. Something dark lay in the Senators heart and she feared it and the whispers it brought to her. She cried till she had no tears left and her sobs subsided into muffled sniffles. It was odd she had found any comfort in his arms when only days ago he had set her on edge. His right hand stroked her cheek softly and his other hand was curled around her waist in a calming manner. She let lose a sigh again and relaxed against him, her face buried in the crook of his neck. He smelled nice, reminded her of the way his master smelled. It comforted her, that tiny detail that most never knew existed. Her breaths came out even and the exhausted Senator slowly began to drift off into the peaceful arms of sleep. Yet before it could hold her fully in its arms a voice sounded and woke her. "Anakin.. Amidala?" The voice was from the entrance to her chambers and Obi-Wan's questioning voice made her feel suddenly tranquil and protected again.  
  
Anakin on the other hand was far from comforted by the voice, breaking his focus from the calming presence of the woman in his arms. Which was another thing - just how was he going to explain this to his master? His head shot up to meet Obi Wan's disapproving gaze, his mouth opening but for the first time in a long while he didn't know what to say. Padme hardly moved, the injuries to her fragile body mostly hidden by his dark jedi robes. It didn't help him explanation-wise, but Anakin was relieved - he was sure Obi Wan wouldn't understand. He finally shut his mouth again stubbornly, looking down from his master's gaze to Padme's delicate figure. Let him think what he liked, Anakin didn't care right now.  
  
Padmé tried to move but the position she was in alleviated most of her pain and she didn't want to lose the precious feeling of nothingness. Looking at Obi-Wan she said nothing, too ashamed at what had happened and what she'd done to him to put her feelings in words. So she lifted her head, dark curls falling over Anakin's shoulder as she turned her face from him. The bruises that littered her back were partially covered by Anakin's robes, yet the thin material of her own shirt did little to hide them. The cool air brushed against them and she shivered, holding back the tears she knew would come in time.  
  
Her petite feet peaked out from under Anakin's thighs and she looked like a tiny girl, not the beautiful and alluring young woman she had been just a few hours before. Obi Wan could feel that dread settling over his heart again as he looked at her and his apprentice now. Anakin's look revealed nothing of what had happened and it left the older man guessing. Even through their bond he couldn't feel the slightest tremor of what had happened. He didn't like the way Anakin held the girl, or they way the boy's eyes wandered over her small frame. This was a lesson they had been over before and Obi-Wan had no patience for it now.  
  
Anakin shifted slightly, compensating for Padme's change in position to ensure that she was as comfortable as possible considering the situation, and also so he could look up properly at his master. As he did he could smell Padme's hair, jasmine entwined with the fresh earthy smell that he recognised only as Naboo. It was terribly distracting. Looking into Obi Wan's eyes, he expected to see anger and disappointment, but all he saw was weariness, and perhaps that was worse. Anakin felt a twinge of guilt, reflected in his troubled blue eyes, for all that he put the man through. Obi Wan was, after all, not just a master, but the closest thing he had to a father. He glanced between him and Padme, feeling as though he'd been torn in two, wanting to make them both happy. "I'm sorry master. I, I had a nightmare," he said, hanging his head in shame. It wasn't a complete lie, and it brought back to him the bone- chilling dreams he had been having about his mother recently. He bit his lip, fighting the memories with physical pain.  
  
Obi Wan gave a fatigued sigh, folding his arms across his chest and giving Anakin an impatient look. He looked between the two of them, but Padme's face was just as unreadable as his padawan's. 'Politicians' he thought wearily, still wondering what the pair of them were hiding. But then again, he knew that Anakin had been having trouble sleeping recently because of his mother, making this an extremely sensitive subject. Sometimes he was too clever for his own good. Obi Wan tried to make eye contact with the boy, but he was still looking at the floor. 'Not to mention stubborn'. Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment longer before he moved into the bathroom, booted feet falling loudly on the stone floor. He circled around his Padawan, eyes meeting the younger man with steely confidence. /We will talk later/ his voice resonated in Anakin's head and for the first time in their ten years together Obi-Wan had pushed passed the barriers Anakin had erected with frightening ease. Standing next to Anakin, Obi-Wan let his gaze linger on his protégéé for a few moments longer before he crouched down until he was eye level with Padmé. He gave the beautiful woman a small smile; as if he was trying to convey something even he himself didn't understand. From this vantage point Obi-Wan could see the bruises and blood clearer and it made his heart ache. "We need to get you cleaned up," Obi-Wan said in a soft voice as he slid his hands under Padmé's armpits and lifted her up. He cradled her delicate body against his as his quick and determined strides took them to her room down the hall. He gathered curious looks from the guards as he, Anakin and Dormé carried the broken Senator. The Jedi's jaw was clenched tightly as he made the journey, trying to ignore the whimpering of pain from the woman in his arm. He finally set her down in the bathroom, calling for Dormé. "Get her cleaned up and then put her into bed, no arguments." The tone of his voice left no room for dispute and as soon as the door was shut Obi-Wan could hear the rustle of clothes and the refresher turn on. He left Padmé's room; he couldn't bear to hear those painful cried again. Just before his exited the room he allowed himself an angry sigh and balled his fists before calming himself. Walking into the living quarters he looked to Anakin, grim faced.  
  
"I don't know what happened back there, but you and I both know your actions were wrong."  
  
Anakin stared down at the floor, fury building up within him at Padme's injuries. Even now he could feel her pain, couldn't escape it if he tried. He only wished he knew who had done this. slowly Anakin exhaled, shutting his eyes and trying to calm himself. But as he tried to clear his mind, it only became more filled with Padme's suffering, her harsh moans as Dormé cleaned the many wounds. His mind was so full of it that he wasn't even aware of his master entering the room until he was stood in front of him. Anakin lifted his head up, his eyes snapping open to look again at Obi Wan's angry face. He responded with just as cold a look, his blue eyes icy and unrelenting, even insulted at the suggestion that he was wrong.  
  
"What was wrong?" he snapped, standing at his full height so that he looked down at his master. "That I comforted her when she was in pain? That I didn't reveal to you something she confided to me? What was I supposed to do master?" He spat the last words, trying to belittle Obi Wan's title, releasing some of the rage that had been building up inside of him.  
  
Obi-Wan remained calm still, even in the face of his furious apprentice. He knew that was, perhaps, what agitated his novice the most. It was that unique ability to hide his feelings and keep an utterly calm and composed atmosphere around him, even the worst of situations. "My young Padawan leaner," he said smoothly, his words quickly reminding Anakin of his position. "Do you forget to whom you speak? I could feel the emotions in the room, your motives for the young Senator, although good, are also selfish."  
  
"Who Amidala wishes to confide in and as to the nature of those secrets are none of my business, and neither yours. She is in a vulnerable position right now, one you cannot comprehend, nor I." He paused for a moment, waiting for Anakin to respond before he told the boy of the council's orders.  
  
Anakin shot him another icy glare, his fury not even full force yet and not showing any signs of slowing down anytime soon. It angered him even more to hear himself being called a young padawan, for he knew deep in his heart he was better than Obi Wan, that his master was jealous of him. It bothered him to see Obi Wan acting so coolly, as though Anakin was still a little boy whose opinion held no worth. Just because his attempts to speak with Padme had been getting somewhere, whilst Obi Wan's seemed to have done more damage than good. Yes, he was jealous. But as Anakin went to respond, to put these bursts of thoughts into words, Obi Wan's last words registered. His eyes widened slightly in confusion, the anger in his expression, though not disappearing completely, lessened as he tried to make sense of their meaning. Something was wrong with Padme; Anakin had sensed it in those few moments before his emotions consumed him, leaving no space for rational thought. Something had made her go out there on her own, go to that complete stranger who would end up. Anakin took a deep breath and focused again on Obi Wan, a little of that anger creeping back into his expression. He tried not to think of Padme's moans of pain. "Which is why we should be trying to talk to her," he reasoned. "If we can understand what she's going through, we can help her."  
  
Obi-Wan gave a small smile at that eager response, all traces of Anakin's anger gone. That was his apprentice, the boy he loved. He sat down gently next to his Padawan, "I think we are both partly guilty for the negative feelings we're been harbouring with each other. You feel I keep you back and I feel you never listen.perhaps both is true." He gave a thoughtful pause, there was a sincerity in his voice that had been absent since he promised Anakin all those years ago on Naboo that he would train the boy. His eyes grew weary for a moment, suddenly suggesting that perhaps thing were not as well with the elder as Anakin expected. Yet as quickly as it appeared it vanished behind those cool blue eyes that revealed nothing.  
  
"We must put those feelings behind us for this mission, we cannot allow our differences get in the way. I am glad you are my apprentice, glad that we have become good friends over the years Ani, but we cannot deny there are undercurrents in the force that try to dissipate the bond we have forged. We mustn't give into them and must try."  
  
"The council had instructed us to take Padmé back to Naboo.what is troubling her is something we must fix together, work as a team. I haven't shared this with you before but Padmé and I have been exchanging holomessages for the past years. I have advised her on things and she in return has helped me. The council felt you didn't need to know, to keep this friendship with her for fear it would distract from your training. I am sorry for keeping this from you. But now we must work as a team, must share our thoughts.not keep them inside." He paused again closing his eyes to collect his thoughts. He partially hoped that perhaps this mission might restore the bond that had been absent over the past year with his Padawan. Yet, he also wanted to help Padmé, make her better.  
  
"Once back on Naboo we are to try and find the problems of this, the council and myself feel she is incapable of making decisions and her erratic behaviour only proves this. You know what happened to Padmé today and I do not, perhaps this is just one of her latest signs. I would appreciate it if you would share with me what you know. If not, I understand."  
  
Anakin let out a frustrated sigh, almost reluctant to let go of his rage completely, to break down the walls that had always been there, dividing him from his master. Ever since they had been forced together by Qui Gon's tragic death. For one fleeting moment he remembered that sorrowful night they burnt the body of Obi Wan's master, Anakin's would-be master. Obi Wan's eyes were bottomless pits of suffering, yet he had remained strong for the boy, taking on the immense burden of training him in what must have been one of his darkest times. Then the memory was gone as quickly as it had appeared to him, and Anakin saw his master as he was now, but he took the lesson into him as he so rarely did. His eyes that so often flashed with energy grew quiet as he looked at Obi Wan, reflecting, considering his options. He was still angry with his master, even more so now that he knew of the messages that had been passing back and forth between him and Padme. For the second time today distance had been placed between the two of them, and it would be a test of his strength to see beyond that. He looked about the room, inhaling sharply, impatiently, willing for his mind to come to some kind of resolve, but he had been forced to take in so much today. Obi Wan, in comparison, seemed so utterly calm, and the Padawan realised why it frustrated him so much. He was envious. He longed to have control over his emotions like Obi Wan did, like a real Jedi Knight. Finally he allowed his eyes to meet his master's again.  
  
"I can't tell you," he said simply, "but." he looked down at the ground again, trying to find the strength to say what he had to say. It was his turn to be honest. He forced himself to look up again, his expression stern and forceful as he did, but the resolve melting away as soon as he looked into Obi Wan's concerned eyes. His mouth opened and closed several times before finally he stared up at the ceiling. "I was so angry. I couldn't control it master." He clenched his fists even now, shutting his eyes and exhaling heavily as he allowed the muscles in his fingers to relax again, releasing the anger. Now the confession had been initiated, he could bring himself to look at the Jedi, needed to infact. He had to know how Obi Wan was reacting to his words, had to search his unreadable face for some flicker of emotion. "If I had known who had caused her those wounds, I would have killed them." He picked his words carefully, not wishing to reveal any of what Padme had told him, yet at the same time trying to convey the extent of his own lack of control at that moment, and how much it had disturbed him.  
  
Obi-Wan leaned into the support the couch offered, his weary body moulding into the soft confines of the purple material. What Anakin had just told him was grounds for dismissal from the Jedi order. Yet the fact that he had admitted it willingly gave Obi-Wan some hope it could be banished and mastered. Looking into those wild, desperate orbs of the boy before him, Obi-Wan saw a flicker of fear in them. Fear spun out of his own uncontrollable actions and desires. Keeping Anakin's gaze, Obi-Wan spoke slowly, "I must admit what you've disclosed is disturbing at the least. However, I feel we can work together to fix it." He gave a long pause, face and body perfectly still and once again revealing nothing of his inner turmoil. "Your actions are understandable, I- ," he faltered for a moment torn if he should share the next piece of information. "I feel the same way. Padmé, perhaps against my better judgement has become very close to my heart." He let the sentence drift, allowing his Padawan gain from that what he wanted. In truth Obi-Wan knew that the friendships and relationships he formed with both Padmé and Anakin had somewhere along the lines spawn into a possessiveness that screamed in outrage against the actions taken against Padmé. However the difference between his Padawan, he hoped, was that he would not take the course of action that instinct demanded.  
  
Anakin looked as if he wanted to respond but Dormé appeared from Padmé's bedroom, her silent figure watching the two Jedi. "She is sleeping now," her eyes wandered between the two for a moment before she spoke again. "I shall go pack the Lady's things.. how long will she be gone?"  
  
"A few months, at least.." Came the short reply from Obi-Wan. He felt Anakin's questioning eyes on him but he didn't think he could take any more questions or revelations for today. The pitiful look on Anakin's face was enough to send his heart plummeting. The outlook for the Senators recovery was not good; it would be a long time before things would be well again. Yet he didn't want to worry the older handmaiden just yet, she had a hard job ahead of her and big shoes to fill.  
  
"Anakin, go back to our chambers at the Temple and gather our belongings.our flight leaves at midnight tonight and we should reach Naboo with two days." The two left quickly and Obi-Wan sighed heavily, dragging his weary body from the couch. He walked to Padmé's room, and slid the door halfway open and just watched the gently rise and fall of her chest as she slept soundly. Her face was hidden in the shadows and he couldn't see the bruises of hideous cuts. Leaning heavily against the wall he left the silent tears come. For how long were the people he cared for in his life destined to suffer? 


End file.
